Body & Soul — Does your relationship pass the ‘bird theory’ test? A relationship coach explains
TikTok is back with another theory that claims to test the fate of our relationships. Here’s what a relationship coach thinks about the trending ‘bird theory’.
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I asked relationship coach Susie Kim for her thoughts on the bird theory and, as it turns out, it’s actually a valid way to test the health of your relationship.
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“The bird theory trend involves telling your partner about seeing something really unremarkable, like a bird, and seeing how they respond,” Kim says.
“Their response is quite telling as the theory itself is based on research by the Gottmans on bids for connection in a relationship.”
Kim says a bid for connection is any action or gesture we do in the presence of our partner.
“It can be a sigh, a comment on something you read or saw that day (like a bird), even sending a meme,” she explains.
This verbal and non-verbal communication is basically an opportunity to connect with your partner - and connection is key in a healthy relationship.
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The bird theory is a lighthearted way to bring up this idea of bids for connection.
“Couples can firstly start to notice how many of their bids towards each other are being noticed and responded to positively,” Kim suggests.
“Once they have the framework of bids for connection, they can start to see how much they are actually missing or positively responding to their partners' bids as well, and agree to try to catch and respond positively to more bids together.”
Keywords: relationship, partner, connection, health, together.